June 21, 2014 at 12:11 am #7542
Here is an anonymous post from one of our followers:
“Can I trust this Bio Mom?
I have been a StepMom for nearly 10 years. In my case, the Bio Mom has never been easy person to deal with. The kids were 1 and 2 years old when I met my partner. We started dating and I met the children a few months later.
The first time I met the Bio Mom is when I went with my partner to drop the kids off. The first thing she said to my partner was “who the f**k is that” (yes in front of her children). After that, for the next 4 years or so, we saw the children maybe once every 6 months if we were lucky. We tried to get visits every week with the children but the Bio Mom withheld them. As well, my partner would constantly get horrible text messages and voicemail from the Bio Mom calling both of us nasty names, threatening to pursue more support money, etc.
The kids got older and we started seeing them more often, about once every other month. This would only happen when she was so stressed and couldn’t handle her kids anymore (she had 2 more by this time). Her communication with us still consisted of the same nasty messages and my partner would receive these every few days. He never stooped her level and either ignored them or was as polite as possible when responding.
Once when the kids were in grade 1 and kindergarten, we thought things were looking up. The Bio Mom got a job at a bar working Wednesday- Sunday. That meant that we took the children from Wednesday after school untill Monday morning. My partner was out of town so I took on the responsibility of caring for them. Communication between the Bio Mom and I were really good. We talked like 2 adults, respectfully and she never used any nasty words. In fact, she said nice things about me for being an awesome StepMom to the kids. That lasted a month and a half, she was fired from her job and suddenly she wouldn’t allow the kids to come over and the nastiness had returned in full force.
Fast-forward a few hard years. We were seeing the kids every other month and there was a lot of rude and nasty communication again (I think we were actually able to have the kids for one Christmas and one birthday in those years).
The Bio Mom is now married with 8 kids and a few step kids of her own. There are still the nasty messages every few months. We still only see our children one a month. She claims the kids don’t want to come over and she has to force them and bribe them to come and visit; yet, the kids say she just doesn’t let them come.
The latest is that she says she doesn’t want my partner to pay child support and that we should all be friends and nice to each other for the kids’ sake. This all came after she saw her current husband struggle and fight just to be able to see his own children. She is part of some fathers’ activist group now and is completely against mothers who destroy fathers and keep kids from their fathers.
I am VERY skeptical to even begin to trust or communicate with the Bio Mom due to all the turmoil she has caused in our lives for the past 10 years. Should I believe she has actually changed?”
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