June 4, 2014 at 6:39 pm #7460
This is an anonymous submission by one of our subscribers.
How to be a StepMom
I’m new to blended families and sometimes I wonder how to be a StepMom. I love my partner and I love the children that came with the relationship, but there are so many things I didn’t expect to be part of the situation. I feel like there is little StepMom support out there other than the support of my partner and things like StepMoms Anonymous. Most people tell me to do “whatever is in the best interest of the children” and I get that. The children are so important to me and I feel that goes without saying. I just want to feel like my needs are addressed too. I don’t want to sacrifice my own happiness to keep harmony between the Ex and my partner and I don’t’ want to cross any lines with the bio mom while doing my step parenting duties. So I’m wondering how to be a StepMom, a partner and an individual who doesn’t always have to always be the one “taking the high road”. What did you do when trying to figure out how to be a StepMom? Do you have any key StepMom advice to give that worked for you?June 4, 2014 at 7:01 pm #7461
I agree that the situation of being a StepMom can be overwhelming. I had a hard time at the beginning. Things still come up from time to time, but they are WAY better now. That first year or so had a lot of growing pains. I found that the most important thing to get through the struggle was communicating what I was feeling. Usually, that means talking to my husband because, as you said, a lot of other people don’t really sympathize or identify with with the role of a StepMom. My husband and I didn’t start out talking so easily about this stuff though. I used to just keep it all to myself. It would make me feel like I could just explode and sometimes I did. I finally started to share my feelings with him and things seemed a little easier. At least I got to get things off my chest. It has become easier and easier to talk about things with him over time. To be honest, because we talk more now, when we do the issues are usually much less intense too. Patience is a big part of this too. There will always be some compromising. Hopefully for you it lessens and becomes more tolerable. Maybe things with the ex will get better too. It could just be a matter of time before it’s more civilized.
Hang in there. You can do it!June 5, 2014 at 3:03 pm #7464
I just added an article in the SMA Blog for you to check out. It could be helpful for you and others feeling similar to you.
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.