“My StepSon visits Tuesday and Thursday every week and then every second weekend. The visitation schedule is by choice, or at least, it isn’t a court ordered one. I wish it was less sporadic so I could have come time to just be myself and not worrying about the StepMom role and obligations so much. If my StepSon visited every second weekend and 2 consecutive days on the opposite week that might be better. I’ve talked to my husband about this and he just says that it’s his son so he wont change it. I think it’s actually because he wants to save face with the family and appear like a good father. He thinks if he sees less of his son he will be looked at in a different light. I wish there was some way to change his mind about this. I don’t have any say and it’s my life that is being scheduled around this too and it just drives me crazy. It doesn’t feel fair. Has anyone else gone through this and what did you do?”
I went through an adjustment like that. Having your schedule dictated by a new factor that isn’t negotiable is hard. In my family it’s a 50/50 custody situation and we managed to tweak things so it’s good for everyone, but it took quite a bit of getting use to for us, and me in particular. Perhaps if you can write up an alternate schedule and present it to your husband and/or the bio mom maybe it will make a change seem more tangible. There might end up being a schedule that works better for everyone else too and not just you.
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Megan EdwardsI don’t have any say and it’s MY life