“When my husband and I got married, I figured within 5 years we would have a child, that is, if we decided to have one. Well, it has been almost 10 years. So needless to say that window of opportunity has come and gone. I’m at an age that isn’t necessarily ideal to have kids anyway so, I guess, that is that. I know I didn’t really push my husband too hard to have a my own child because he already has a kid and, to be honest, the idea of giving birth scared the heck out of me.
My StepChild is 15 and will be out of high school soon enough. Having to “start from scratch” after raising one child almost to adulthood already seems like another reason to not have a child of my own. Still, in the back of my mind, I wonder is this something that I will regret? Like, ten years from now, when giving birth isn’t even an option, will I feel like I missed out on a special happiness that only happens with your own child? Will I miss out on discovering things about myself that I might not discover in any other of life’s situations? I have tried to weigh that unknown possibility against what I do know of parenthood. That is lots of stress, lots of pressure and high expectations from yourself and others (not to mention MUCH less time for yourself). I mean, as a StepMom, it was already as much as I could handle. I wonder if being a StepMom is so many of the negatives of being a parent without the upside. Is that just pessimistic? I’m sure other StepMoms can see my point.
I know that my husband would prefer to not have another child so I guess this whole thought process is redundant, but I just wonder if anyone was in the same position and made the same decision. I am hoping you can tell me it was a good choice for you.”
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Megan EdwardsThis StepMom questioned having kids of her own